“It’s basically like flying,” some kid probably said when he was relaxing in a hammock, slung between a few towering oaks, hiding from all obligations and worries amidst the calming shade draped from their canopies. In all honesty I don’t know if that kid ever said anything like that, or if that kid exists. He exists in my mind and in that situation he certainly feels like he’s flying.
Hammocks can be a fantastic place to ‘hang around’ for a while. You can read a book, write a play, compose a symphony, or take a nap while enjoying the highest degree of comfort known to man. If you go to school where I do or on any number of college campuses you’ve likely seen students by the tens doing just that all over campus.
Hammocking, as it could be called, is the luke-warm craze sweeping the nation thanks to the newfound popularity of portable hammocks. These people suspenders come in a huge number of colors and sizes so its easy to find the right fight for your personality and social standing. Attached to the tree by two wide, fabric straps, the complete transformation from forest to lounge takes only a few minutes.
Rest assured these crazy fabric cocoons are the brain child of 100% certifiable tree-huggers so they are guaranteed to be nice to our big, wooden, leafy friends. That is unless you get stingy and try to save a few bucks picking up 30’ of rope or wire instead of cashing out on the proper straps. These can cause serious damage so just don’t do that okay? I mean the whole point of ham mocking is to get out and be a part of the natural without leaving a mark on it.
Stacking your friends on top of each other is the hottest new craze within the luke-warm craze of hammocking as shown in the picture below. Although this might be a good time and a few easy Instagram like, it’s not the best for the trees as the excess weight can put unnecessary stress on the trees. No I’m not calling you fat, I’m just saying there are plenty of trees out there that need a hug and a hangout.
I once spent four days swingin’ through my dreams sleeping in a hammock this previous summer and it was not a good or worthwhile experience at all. Do not sleep in hammocks unless your uncle happens to be a chiropractor (mine is not).
Thankfully, you don’t ever have to sleep in a hammock, but you have endless hours to enjoy them the right way. So get out there, hang up the phone, hang up a hammock, and enjoy the high life (if you think three feet is high that is).
Written by Jack Zeis, ESLLC 2015-2016